Special Offer

Haven't we all received an e-mail from some character out of Africa, English broken into bits, pleading for help. There's always a lot of money involved, the refugee can't get it without your help, and if you'll just send them your bank account number, etc. etc.

Today's installment has me a bit puzzled.

My name is Mrs Martha Pujeh,from Diamond rich country district of Bombali in Northern Province of Sierra Leone.I am the widow of the Late Mr. MOMOH PUJEH, the Managing Director of Sierra Leone Diamond Mining Corporation and Transport Minister.I am currently living in a refugee Hostel in UK.My family and I have been unfortunate to find ourselves caught up in a very difficult situation here.

Unfortunate indeed. Martha goes on to say that she can't open a bank account in the UK, and there's this box with $12 million in it, housed in Spain. What with the UK being on pounds sterling, and the money in US dollars, I'd say she's got a little problem. Naturally, I'm expecting her to next ask me to e-mail her my bank information and she'll put the money right into my account and trust me to give her a cut out of the kindness of my heart.

But what does she want from me? Name, address, phone and fax numbers, but not my bank account number or bank routing number. Now that's a first. With only some random pieces of identification, she'd have to do a fair bit of work to put together some documents, and she still can't access my bank account. Clearly, she's after something else that relates to identification, but I can't quite figure out what the real scam is here.

Kind of her to leave her son's e-mail address, but since anyone can get a yahoo mailbox, I'll pass on contacting the lad. Working in a pub in the UK somewhere, she says in her letter, but she's quite vague on the location. It could be that she's hoping to craft a false identity for her illegal alien offspring so he can open a bank account and get hold of the $12 million that's in the box in Spain. I can't imagine that the customs officials would fall for this one, in the UK or in Spain.

I mean, what with my name and the racial characteristics of a native of Sierra Leone, there's quite the disconnect there. No, Martha, I won't send you my particulars. It would be a disservice to your young lad, forced to lie through his teeth to convince some agent at the border that he's black Irish, of a particularly dark skinned variety.

Pity that you didn't make your first stop in Spain, on the way out of Sierra Leone. Then you could have picked up the box of cash yourself. You said in your e-mail that your husband told you about the stash before he was murdered, so why didn't you get it when you had the chance? I mean, you say you have the certificate of deposit and the receipt from the Spanish security company. It would have been easy enough to pop in and claim your possessions, what with Spain being along the route between Africa and the UK.

Thank you for the opportunity to be taken, but, alas, I must pass. Your scam is not right for my list. But scamming is a purely subjective business, and I wish you luck in finding a complete idiot to fall for your e-mail.