Hooligans Need Not Apply

Just when Iran's president was about to get a bit of support, the Germans pulled the rug out from under his unwashed feet. That most august body, the National Democratic Party, was all set to march in Berlin following the Iranian matches in the upcoming World Cup, but now they can't. Isn't there something the European human rights groups could do? It's so unfair.

The neo-Nazis only wanted to show their support for their buddy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who shares their conviction that the Holocaust never happened. Oh, and that bit about wiping Israel off the map, that's a go for the neo-Nazis. Leave it up to the German police to get all nervous, afraid that the world would pay attention to the skinheads and then no one would talk about how brilliant the Germans were as hosts of the World Cup. It's only a matter of image, after all, with the German people not wanting everyone else to think they're all a bunch of Nazis. They've been trying to erase that black mark for a long enough time as it is without some minor faction reminding everyone all over again.

Even though party leaders said that they were calling off the marches because of the strained security situation, who's to say that they weren't pushed? Where's Dick Marty when you need him to stand up for the downtrodden neo-Nazis?

Bad enough that a group of British hooligans were nabbed at the Czech border when they tried to sneak in where they aren't wanted. Surely that violates some EU directive or other, free travel between member nations or whatnot. 3500 professional hooligans had their British passports revoked for the duration, and the police confiscated the match tickets of 300 German hooligans. Is there some kind of union for hooligans? How do the police seem to know exactly who these fools are?

There's even worse evidence of human rights violations in Germany as the World Cup gets set to begin. They're discriminating against black people. Yes, it's true. Several African football associations have issued pamphlets to their fans, warning them to stay out of east Berlin and East Germany. Uwe-Karsten Heye, who was once involved in the German government, flat out told the blacks that they'd better stay out of small towns like Brandburg because they "wouldn't get out alive."

Ah, Europe, that bastion of equality and freedom, so unlike the evil US of A. And we're glad of it in America.