Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Be Like F. Scott Fitzgerald And Boost Your Pension

What would F. Scott Fitzgerald do? He'd choose a pension from Irish Life.
You have long wanted to be a writer, but you feared that the required lifestyle would damage your health. You would die relatively young and you'd never recoup the cost of the pension you paid for with long hours at a day job.

It would be grand to live like F. Scott Fitzgerald, boozing and smoking and staying up until all hours of the night. Party, party, party, so that your imagination would be fired and you would have something interesting to write about. After all, you want to write what you know. How can you  know about wild nights in the south of France if you don't experience them?

Yet you have held back because you did not want to contribute thousands of euro to a pension scheme that would not benefit you. The F. Scott Fitzgerald lifestyle is one that promises an early demise, and there goes all your investment. put towards the support of some dullard who enjoys robust good health and will be getting payments for the next forty years.

Welcome Irish Life's brilliant scheme. This is the pension for you, budding author.

Living that unhealthy lifestyle that is fueling your creativity? Go on and light up another cigarette. Guzzle down that bottle of gin. Irish Life has your short life covered.

If you can demonstrate your ability to live less than the expected life span, you could receive a bonus in the form of a larger monthly pension pay-out. Irish Life will give you the additional income, under the expectation that you won't live to see seventy and it isn't fair to expect you to kick in to a pension fund unless you get the return on investment.

Wouldn't you like a ten or twenty-five percent increase in your annuity payments? Sure you could use that kind of cash to fund your Fitzgeraldian way of life, given the high price of alcohol and ciggies.

No longer would you need to worry about taking care of yourself. Irish Life has you covered for the brief period of time that you burn the candle at both ends.

Develop high blood pressure, Type II diabetes or cancer from your writing research project and the pension goes up. Should you become obese, there is a benefit financially, but the Jazz Age was a time of slim figures so you really should consider going to the other extreme. Being very underweight will also come up a winner for you in this plan.

Die young and leave a good-looking corpse, along with a body of brilliant literature that will live on after you've gone. You can do that now, with a pension plan from Irish Life.

Martini for breakfast? Why not? You're covered by Irish Life, the pension that pays for those who have more to do than worry about their health.

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