If you're not finding much luck in landing that big publishing contract, maybe you need more bondage in your manuscript.
Over at Penguin, in their Berkley Books Division, they've just signed Maya Banks to a contract so fat it's obese. Seven figures, a deal whipped into shape by Trident Media's Kimberly Whalen, and all the author must do is deliver three books of mommy porn.
It's fifty shades of bondage these days as publishers seek the blockbuster novel that will prove profitable.
Following the success of E.L. James, Penguin thinks they can ride the wave, but their author is an established writer with a following, although there's no telling how many of Ms. Banks' readers are into that sort of thing.
If you write romance, it's time to rethink your male character, and as for that whole notion of a strong female protagonist? Forget it. That's old school.
Women want to be dominated. They want to be tied up, they want pain. Well, not real pain. In mommy porn, no one gets hurt and has to go to the hospital.
Which is a good thing, because when someone shows up at the ER with a vibrator stuck in their sigmoid colon, that radiation technologist who seems all concerned is laughing at the patient, and will then share the story with people like me over drinks on a Friday night.
Then there was the guy with the vacuum cleaner hose....I should collect all those stories and put together a series of mommy porn! But under a pseudonym. You wouldn't want your mother to know you'd written something so dirty.
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