Monday, July 09, 2012

Authorities Suspect Drink Was Involved

The party was held on an exclusive estate in a very posh area of New York, where publishing moguls like to relax on a hot summer weekend.

Security was tight. Access to the fete was closely guarded. No one who was not invited was to be allowed in.

How then is one to crash such a doing?

David Fink and Simon Kinsella were familiar with the area. They realized that there was one access point not so tightly controlled, and they wanted to get in.

Not that they were on the guest list. The two men in question wanted to barge into Mitt Romney's fundraiser in East Hampton and create mayhem. So clearly, they are not not supporters of this particular candidate.

Off they went in a boat across Georgica Pond, putt-putting over water towards the estate of cosmetics mogul Ronald Perelman.

Hearts beating with excitement, breathless with anticipation, they imagined what they might do with their protests against all things Republican. So close to their goal. Almost there.

And then...

Security personnel aren't so dense as all that. The police had their own boats out there on Georgica Pond, and they intercepted the crafty boatmen well before they could reach their destination.

Mr. Fink and Mr. Kinsella did their best to evade capture, but alas, they ended up running into a police boat which was not a wise maneuver on their part. Authorities reported that one of the miscreants attempted to swim for it, but one man's Australian crawl is no match for a motor.

The lads have been charged with resisting arrest (see running into police boat), along with disorderly conduct (that would be attempting to crash a party to which they were not invited).

A pair of eejits, you say? Thinking that they could sail into a party with tight security?

Authorities ought to do a quick blood alcohol test on these two. A sober man would never have come up with such a stupid idea, and it would require a big feed of drink to encourage someone to even attempt such a scheme.

There'll be a fine paid, and Mr. Fink and Mr. Kinsella will return to their friends as heroes, to a hero's welcome. Will there be toasts and more drinks, so?

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