Friday, March 30, 2012

It's Not Only Priests Who Are Celibate

While the Catholic Church pretends that priestly celibacy has nothing whatsoever to do with attracting men of distorted sexual emotions, we would do well to remember that it isn't only priests who are celibate.

Add writer Chris Jones to the list.

Not that he intentionally took a vow to eschew contact with the female sex, but he won't be getting any for a long while.

Mr. Jones is now to be forever known as the man who penned the Esquire article that accused women of not being very good in bed.

When she asks if the dress makes her look fat, son, you lie. The same goes for the sex. If the earth didn't stop rotating on its axis, it's best to keep it to yourself, or whinge away with your best mates over a few pints.

Because it's your fault.

You complain that they're unresponsive, bored, not interested in all you have to offer? Once they're back home, they'll be ringing up a friend to laugh about your inadequacy and how they were sorry they'd gone home with you and what a waste of time that was.

It's your fault.

That's how it is with women. They're very different from the male of the species, and in ways that have a great deal to do with which genes on the X chromosome are turned off to gain equal amounts of genetic material to a male's Y. Yes, different genes do not function, and which genes are turned off varies from female to female, and that's why no two women are alike.

They're raised differently, no matter what you might be thinking about liberation and equality and all the rest. So when you expect them to be more like you, and they're not, and you're not happy about the sex because of it, well, it's your fault.

There's that, you see, for something consistent in women. It's the man's fault.

So go back and write another article that says she's right, you're wrong, and you're sorry.

Or you'll find out what it's like to live the ascetic life of a monk.

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