Throwing Metaphors Around Like Thunderbolts

Writers are often cautioned to use metaphors carefully.

They're tricky things, those comparisons that show rather than tell the story.

To begin with, when you compare two things, the metaphor has to make sense. You'd not be saying that the ocean was as deep as the desert. Of course not. You'd think of something else that's deep, like the blue of her eyes or the blackness of a bottomless pit.

Then there are some metaphors aren't acceptable by society at large. And they almost all seem to have something to do with Adolph Hitler.

We all know that the Catholic Church is more than a little upset with An Taoiseach Enda Kenny, who dared to criticize the Vatican's position on stopping clerical pedophiles in Ireland. Like an outraged guest insulted at a party, the papal nuncio took his leave of the island nation and didn't let the door hit his arse on the way out.

For Father Thomas Daly of St. Columcille's in Togher, County Louth, that metaphor didn't clearly express how upset all Irish Catholics should feel. Using the parish newsletter, he upped the metaphor ante. And took it a step too far.

Who else dared to criticize the Holy Father, asked Father Daly.

None other than Adolph Hitler.

If A equals B, then Enda Kenny equals Hitler.

In his literary ramblings to his flock, the priest sorrows over the loss of the old ways like a jilted bride mourning the death of her expectations of future happiness. He believes that anti-Church elements celebrated Mr. Kenny's diatribe like godless heathens given fresh fuel for their bonfires. As an instructor to the faithful, he'd probably like them to share in his outrage and go out among the political class to broadcast their displeasure.

The parishioners are now upset with the priest for going overboard on the metaphor.

The lesson to be taken away from this metaphorical misunderstanding? Be very careful how you use metaphors in your writing. You risk being taken for a misguided fool or an anachronism, or worse yet, a big part of the problem that's eating up the Catholic Church like an aggressive cancer.