Pennies On The Eyes Won't Cover The Bill

In ancient times, the dearly departed were packed off to the netherworld with coins on their eyes to pay the cost of the ferry over the river and through the woods to paradise.

Pennies aren't going to be near enough cash, thanks to the latest decision from the wise fools running the European Union.

The Value Added Tax, or VAT, applies to burials as well as the needs of the living.

Any Irish citizen wishing to buy a burial plot from their local county council will have to pay a tax of 13.5 per cent. It's not so cheap to plant Granny in the aul' sod.

The additional income will drop into the Exchequer's grasping fingers, while Irish undertakers pass the added cost along to their customers. A piece of ground that cost E1275 yesterday will run an additional E172 on the first of July, and the funeral directors don't have any interest in cutting their profits by that same amount. As always with a VAT, the customer pays the price.

Opting for cremation won't help because there's a VAT of 13.5% on that as well. Once you've got the ashes of your loved one, you might be more inclined to scatter the remains or dig a discreet hole in the cemetery under the cover of night, to avoid paying out even more for burial.

Little wonder that members of the U.S. Congress are pushing for the Value Added Tax. As a source of revenue, it's hard to beat, seeing as how it's applied to every single thing that a person might have to buy, from the beginning of life to its very end.

The only way to avoid paying is to work through the black market economy, where a willing priest will bless a corner of the back garden and a few like-minded friends will help you dig a deep hole. It's that, or stuff the dearly departed in a large trash bag for a bargain burial in the local landfill. With the high cost of living, a person has to do something to alleviate the high cost of dying.