The Relentless Tick Of The Biological Clock

Tick, tick, tick

The clock starts ticking from the minute we are born. Our lives are on a single trajectory, heading straight towards death. It matters, then, what we do in between those two events. Build a career? Run for public office? Give back to the community, contribute to the community, add a new person to the community?

For women, the clock ticks so loud that they may lose their senses. The desperation kicks in, with the relentless tick, tick, tick of the biological clock and the looming shadow of menopause growing larger. You can't wait to have a baby until you are ready. Your body is going to betray you if you wait too long.

Hairdresser Jenifer Perik heard little more than that clock ticking away. She is 42, and her fertile years are fast approaching their sad ending. It is a fact that all women know. Some are glad to see that day, to be released from worry about unplanned pregnancies or the hassle of birth control. Free at last, they will say. But what about those who just never got around to having a child, or who see the approach of menopause and realize that they are running out of time?

Tick, tick, tick.

The average man does not want to father a child as a favor to a wannabe mother because he's likely to be tapped for child support at some point. Maybe the mother-in-waiting has assured him that she only wants his sperm, but the law is the law and why take the risk?

Casual sex could solve the problem, but how do you go about picking up men of good genetic quality? You don't want an alcoholic or someone with a history of mental illness. Hook-ups might get you pregnant, but you run the risk of not hooking up with a guy during that brief window of monthly fertility, and there's another month gone and the clock just keeps ticking away.

Ms. Perik saw the solution to her maternal problem in a sperm bank. No need to screen the donor when it is done for you. Select hair color, eye color, build, intelligence, and whatever else you are looking for in a perfect father, and the material is sent to your door. It isn't all romance and candle light, but you can get yourself pregnant in the privacy of your own home. You get a baby, there is no need to form a relationship, and you'll never have to argue about child-rearing practices with a spouse.

Her biological clock was ticking and she wanted a baby.

Sperm does not come free if you go through a sperm bank. Ms. Perik could not afford the fees. $3,000 is a lot of money for a hairdresser. Maybe she could have saved up that much, but there was that biological clock ticking and she didn't have the time to accumulate that kind of cash.

Someone else had it. One of her clients, an elderly woman who paid by credit card.

One reason to have children is to have someone who loves us looking after us in our dotage, when we are easily bilked by those we trust. If your mind is going, it is a relief to know that your offspring will mind your affairs so that you aren't taken advantage of. Ms. Perik did not realize that her client had a daughter who paid the bills and reviewed the credit card statements.

So when a statement showed a purchase at a sperm bank, it was obvious that a crime had been committed.

Ms. Perik has been arrested for theft, to the tune of $6000. She must have realized that she would need furniture for the baby and maternity clothes for herself, none of which she could afford on her income, and the old lady didn't flinch after the first time the card was used, so why not a little more? That clock was just ticking away, so loud that Ms. Perik could not hear her conscience.

She is now free on bond. She is also seven weeks pregnant.

Let's hope that the stress of going to trial does not lead to a miscarriage. The clock is ticking and it's not easy to get yourself pregnant when you're in jail.